I'm a 24 years old costume designer from Sweden. Also, some may or may not, call me goth. Nerd and Proud.

 

I will return to this abandoned castle I visited last year.

I will return to this abandoned castle I visited last year.

For the last 10 years most people have been saying to me, “It’s just a phase, you’re going to grow out of it.”

10 years later, I really don’t think so.

I don’t know what going on with me today, I have been crying almost all day and I really feel like shit.Today is one of the days I can’t stand looking at myself in the mirror. I will just breakdown screaming and crying if I would see my reflection.If I feel bad enought I will smash the mirror…Because all I see is this grotesque monster staring back at me and it’s so disgusting that I want to throw up.There is so much I really really hate about the way that I look. The parts I hate the most is my neck, my nose, my butt, my hands my upper arms.. and so on.It’s also days like this one I try not to eat at all, I don’t want to. I just think to myself. “Do you want to eat or be beautiful? Do you really deserve to eat you fat pig?”It just feels like I’m getting fater and fater every day, Im not sure I can live like this.What the fuck is wrong with me?!

I don’t know what going on with me today, I have been crying almost all day and I really feel like shit.
Today is one of the days I can’t stand looking at myself in the mirror. I will just breakdown screaming and crying if I would see my reflection.
If I feel bad enought I will smash the mirror…

Because all I see is this grotesque monster staring back at me and it’s so disgusting that I want to throw up.

There is so much I really really hate about the way that I look. The parts I hate the most is my neck, my nose, my butt, my hands my upper arms.. and so on.

It’s also days like this one I try not to eat at all, I don’t want to. I just think to myself. “Do you want to eat or be beautiful? Do you really deserve to eat you fat pig?”
It just feels like I’m getting fater and fater every day, Im not sure I can live like this.

What the fuck is wrong with me?!

Yay!New fake eyelashes! :DAnd a super cool purple eyeshadow! :D

Yay!
New fake eyelashes! :D

And a super cool purple eyeshadow! :D

New clothes!Yay! :DIf anyone want I can upload photos of the different clothes I bought.Would that be of any interest?

New clothes!
Yay! :D
If anyone want I can upload photos of the different clothes I bought.

Would that be of any interest?

My face is still really swollen. >:cAnd my hair look like shit xDGoing to dye my hair tonight.

My face is still really swollen. >:c

And my hair look like shit xD
Going to dye my hair tonight.

A confession.

I usually think to myself once a day, “Today/tonight I’m going to answer all my messages on tumblr.” But I always end up thinking to myself, “I’m so tired right now, I think I will do it tomorrow.”
But that day seems to never come.

I’m so sorry!

A fun fact about me.

I went to music school as a child and I played the trumpet as my main instrument.
I was a band geek. ;)
Because of that I got into a school for gifted children at the age of 13.

But I haven’t played in front of anyone in about 10 years and have no plans to change that.